::Election 2004
1:02 a.m. - 2005-02-07
“I’ll disown you if you vote for Kerry,” she said over the phone, half-joking, but with a too-serious vein of truth running through her words, and, as much as I knew I would never vote for Bush, I also knew better than to ever admit it. My parents are millionaires, evangelical Christians, hardcore Republicans and close-minded—Bush is the obvious choice. I am single with no plans to change that, agnostic, female, open to discussion about anything and have been paying for all of my clothes and bills since I was sixteen—Bush is not getting my vote.
Not this year anyway. I still remember the first time I understood the force of politics in the world which occurred during my 4th grade year at Pinebrook Elementary in Davie County, North Carolina. It was 1992 and the school held a mock-election for the students. Everyone voted. And, not having UNC to open my eyes to reality yet, I voted for Bush. Bush won the school election. He did not win the reelection for a second term as the United States President.
I called my mom yesterday when I returned from the polls—my first visit ever—to reassure her that I voted for Bush and ask how she was doing. She told me everything was fine; in fact, my little brother had a mock-election at his own school where he is in the fourth grade—First Assembly Christian School. I was not surprised to hear that Bush won. Still, the surreal magnitude was not lost on me as I realized history was literally repeating itself.
Unfortunately, the switch that occurred between my elementary school’s mock-election results and reality would not occur with my little brother’s school’s election during the Election of 2004. I started watching the election coverage at 7 pm last night, from my job at Champp’s—and for once I was grateful for the 25 televisions following my every move. As I approached my tables over and over again—running into more than a few innocent bystanders as my eyes remained glued on the electoral vote tally and not where I was going—many expressed appreciation over the alteration I had made to my “I Voted” sticker, to which I added “For Kerry.”
Anyway, I finally gave up around one o’clock this morning and went to bed with a heavy feeling of possible defeat in my stomach, concluding that I would find out the results after 8 hours of desperately needed sleep.
Well, after ten hours of sleep, I did find out the results. I found out that once again our voting process is so fucked-up that in the year 2004—when I can call anyone in the world from anywhere in the world on my cell phone, when I can email China in a matter of seconds, when I can take a picture, load it up and print out a copy in less than 60 seconds, when I can literally fly to the moon, provided I’m willing to give up smoking, sugar and my soul to NASA—in that same year, we still do not have a system which allows us to accurately, precisely, and IMMEDIATELY tally votes from our citizens across the great United States of America.
I don’t know if I’m angry, disappointed or defeated. I don’t know if I should give into this unnerving desire to cry over a political election—something I had never paid attention to until this year, when I proudly registered to vote for the first time in my life. At 21 years old, this is the first presidential election I was eligible to participate in and, while it initially seemed another blasé day of being a US citizen, reality etched a different story when I went through that line, collected my ballot and pen, and sat down in my metal fold-out chair to hunch diligently over that elusive piece of paper. For as long as I can remember, society, teachers and parents have reminded me that we live in a great country and in turn, that our country is great because of our right to vote.
So when I filled in those blanks yesterday—connecting one dash to another—I didn’t feel like I was doing something out of peer pressure or obligation. I felt privileged. I felt a part of something great. I felt all of the possible policies, amendments, laws, and acts looming over my head as I took on the one task to which we are all entitled to take part—and not only to take part in but to share equally. I felt moved.
And now, with another four years of George W. Bush eyeing Roe vs. Wade, other oil-rich countries and healthcare—now with even more power being drawn the support of a reelection, Christian America, and the Patriot Act—I don’t feel moved anymore. I feel defeated, angry and disgusted with the ignorance that continues to permeate what I so long believed was a great country.
But you know… I still can’t wait until for 2008 when it’s Hilary’s turn to rock this country into reality, justice, and fairness, because our country’s greatness isn’t gone. It’s rightfully hiding from Bush and by God—his or otherwise—it will be displayed again.
